Have you ever had a social interaction in which you and the other in the end, you feel both uncomfortable? in which you said to yourself: "It happened again!", "I thought he / she was different ... but", "How come it happened again?". A situation in which you are surprised by how things turn out, making you account at the same time that there was that final family?
If there is success, it is very likely that, in TA language, you were making a "game" psychological.
Eric Berne, founder of transactional analysis, was the first to speak of "games" and to suggest how to analyze them.
The Games have some specific characteristics:
1. are REPETITIVE : each person plays his favorite over and over again. Actors and content may change but the basic pattern is always the same.
2. are Unaware means a person puts on the scene without realizing it, and even in the final stage, when he realizes the repetition effect of the scheme, is not aware of having contributed to build it itself.
3. involve an exchange of MORE SETTLEMENTS among the players: there is an exchange that takes place in social manifesto and another exchange (more precisely), which occurs at a psychological level, indirect. It 'just that it determines the course of the transaction.
4. involves a moment of surprise or CONFUSION in which the player has the feeling something unexpected happened. People seem to have changed roles.
The games are not fun. So why carry them? AT The authors suggested several hypotheses.
Everyone agrees on one thing: in making a game, the person, instead of using resources and options mature relationship management, active childhood had found that those strategies are instrumental to get attention (good or bad they were). The Schiff also suggest that the games are derived from unresolved symbiotic relationships in which each player devalues \u200b\u200bboth himself and others. Every game is an attempt to maintain a healthy symbiosis or not an angry reaction against the symbiosis itself.
An example.
Jack met Jean. They fall in love and decide to live together. At first everything is fine. Over the months Jack began to suffer Jaen: ignore her needs, rails against the beating, he gets drunk, spends her money. Jean, despite everything, continues to excuse him. The more aggressive he becomes, the more she feels hurt, more excuses. This is for three years. Then, without warning, Jean Jack leaves for another man. Jack finds a note at home, where she tells her that she's gone forever. Jack is amazed, "How could this happen?". Tracked her down and pray. The more he prays, the more she rejects him hard, the more he feels sick. Jack feels depressed, abandoned and asks "What's wrong?" "Never again." The strange thing is that Jack has already had two experiences of rejection that have followed the same pattern. The pattern repeats itself again and he felt surprised and refused. Jean, meanwhile, has already been abused by other men. At first she accepted and then, suddenly, everything has refused, saying once again "all men are equal." Nevertheless, begins relationship with another man and history is repeating itself.
An example.
Molly meets Tom who looks distraught. He says: "My landlord threw me out, I do not know where to go. I do not know what to do." Molly worried: "It 's terrible, how can I help you?". Tom sadly: "I do not know" and waits. Molly then says: "Do not be discouraged, try looking in the newspaper, you can rent a room." He shot down: "I do not have enough money." She: "I can give you help with this." He: "nice of you, but I do not want charity from anyone." Molly: "Well, at least I can book a bed at the hostel until you solve the problem?". Tom: "Thanks, but I do not think I could be among all those people." He falls silent. Molly does not find other solutions. Tom pulls out a long sigh, gets up and walks away saying, "Thanks anyway for trying." Molly asks, "What the hell happened?". He feels stunned, depressed, not up to help others. Tom feels outraged and thinks: "I knew it would help me."
I.STEWART-V. Joines "Transactional Analysis. Guide to the psychology of human relationships "(pgg.295-327)
0 comments:
Post a Comment